20th August- Hasnt it been ages?!

Okay I haven't done a blog in ages and its the usual excuses been on holiday again, looking for a job because im absolutely skint and.. wait no that's it. I'm not gonna go around saying that I have such an amazing life that i couldn't possibly have the time to be on my laptop because looking back on it its hardly a fairy tale. I have recently discovered that i am very VERY boring person do you know what did today? It was something on the lines of watch telly but to be honest it was come dine with me which is amazing , watched sex and the city which again AMAZING and then walked the dog.. not so amazing but got abit of exercise in. I don't even see the point in you guys reading this blog because summer for me = nothing. Ever since my love problem with Joe i have tried to get out of the house and meet people... but with no money, no car, no nothing im left again doing nothing. Trust me meeting people is harder than it seems really hard. Its like i was born into this world with out a chance to find a boy remotely interested in me.. okay from a guys point of view i am a tad easy on the eye (big headed much?) My body isn't that great but its not obesely fat either could maybe give her ago.. and then i speak and its a turn off. I mean no not my voice, my voice is not the problem i don't sound like a strangled cat if that's what your thinking... Its the words that decide to come out of my mouth so uncalled for and soo inappropriate.. Okay maybe a slight exaggeration not completely inappropriate Its not like im saying 'hey fiend, im going to take you to my dungeon and suck your blood!'' No. Not that inappropriate but the sort of things you say which sound good at first in your mind and then later on whilst your in bed thinking over the nights events and you have that gut feeling mixed between humiliation and regret that if you had said those words completely different would you ended up in someone else's bed tonight not in yours... May I add eating Ben and Jerry's and watching 90210. But then i think to my self what if? What if i did say these words that matched to his 'criteria' and this guy fell head over heels for me, would i be happy knowing that im living a lie?  Clueless is the word.